Death Experience
by LucyMagnus
Summary: Mulder has been shot and he is in a critical condition. Will he survive?


**I would like to say English isn't my mother tongue and I don't have a beta reader, so all mistakes are mine and I do apologize for all of them. I hope you will be able to enjoy the story anyway.**

* * *

Mulder was packing up for the newest trip, this time to Illinois. It wouldn't be the first time for him going there. He had the feeling he had visited every big city in the States. He has never kept the track of all the places he had been to. But if he wanted, he was sure he would be able to remember almost every place he had to go while solving cases.

He threw pair of socks in his suitcase and remembered he wanted to pack up painkillers for his occasional headache. He walked up to the medical chest in his bathroom, opened it and swore. He forgot he took the last painkiller the last time he has had a headache and haven't been able to buy new painkillers since then. Mulder sighed. He had no choice but to run to the nearest pharmacy to buy it. He just hoped he would be able to make it on time to catch taxi that would take him to the airport. He wouldn't miss the flight because of some stupid painkillers.

He put white T-shirt and sneakers on and left his apartment in a hurry forgetting his phone on a charger. Luckily he knew about a pharmacy that was open even on Sunday evening. It was just a few streets down from his house. While he was walking swiftly to his destination, he was thinking about other stuff he had to take with. The case file with all photos was already safely tucked in his briefcase. It was always the first thing he packed up. He was able to go on in one suit for few days but he would never forget to take files of his case with.

Finally he noticed the neon light of the pharmacy and sign saying they had open. Mulder sighed with relieve. He checked his watch noticing he had enough time to buy the painkillers, running back to his apartment and if he would be lucky, even enough time to dress into suit.

Mulder walked in and froze. Something wasn't feeling right. Suddenly he was glad he didn't say anything. His usual "Hi." got stuck in his throat. Mulder made few careful steps on a side where he could hide behind shelves containing all sorts of vitamins. He placed hand on the small back and felt his gun stuck behind his belt. He frowned. He didn't even realize he took his gun to the pharmacy. Shaking his head he though about Scully for a moment, who would be laughing and saying something about him being paranoid. But right now he was actually glad he had the gun.

Mulder took the gun out and carefully looked around the corner. Suddenly he heard voices so he pulled his head back, listening. It seemed like one angry guy arguing or at least saying something to the pharmacist. At fist Mulder couldn't make up the words but after a moment on concentrating he realized one guy was threatening the pharmacist over some painkillers or drugs or whatever he wanted. Mulder knew he had to stop it before somebody would get hurt. Besides, other customers could walk in any second and make this situation even worse.

Mulder crouched and carefully walked around the shelves full of vitamins. His eyes stopped briefly on all the bottles, while he was wondering why anybody would need all these vitamins. Then he shook his head trying to concentrate on the task ahead. He noticed a guy, who could be drunk or on drugs, waving gun at the pharmacist who was really frightened.

"I didn't ask for this!" The guy yelled. "I need something stronger. I need it now!"

"I… I will give you everything I have. Just… don't shoot me, I have family." The pharmacist begged.

Mulder have seen enough. He stood up and pointed the gun at the guy. "FBI! Put the gun down!" Mulder shouted.

The guy jumped up slightly surprised. Then he turned around facing Mulder and waving the gun at him.

"Put the gun down or I have to shoot you." Mulder said calmly holding his head steadily pointed at the guy.

"I want what I ordered!" The guy said still waiving the gun in the air. He was holding his finger on the trigger, dangerously close to pull it any time. Suddenly he pointed the muzzle on Mulder's head and tried to pull the trigger. But Mulder was faster and before the guy was able to reach the safety that he had for some reason still on, the 9mm bullet hit him right in his heart. The guy was dead even before the body hit the ground.

"Are you alright?" Mulder asked the pharmacist, still not lowering his gun.

The pharmacist simply nodded not trusting his voice to speak up. Mulder lowered his gun slightly and looked around. It seemed like the guy was acting on his on. Suddenly he felt a breeze on his back and turned quickly around facing the main door. There was standing a young woman, probably in her late twenties. She held up her hands reacting to the sight of gun in Mulder's hand.

"I'm FBI agent." Mulder said calmly pointing the gun on the floor. "Call 911, please." He asked turning already around to make sure the pharmacist was alright. But when he looked in the pharmacist's eyes he saw a terror. Before he was able to turn around to the woman, he felt he was hit with something to his back. His face showed surprise for a moment, and then he fell on the ground not being able to even put his arms in front of him to slow down the fall.

Suddenly he was lying on the ground not being able to move. He felt something warm and sticky spreading under his body and all over him. He realized it was blood. His blood. It was the last thought that did run through his mind. Then everything went black.

…

Mulder was standing in his office, looking around and feeling like something was wrong. He couldn't determine what it was. He had mess on his table as always. The poster saying I WANT TO BELIEVE was still on one wall. Around other walls were standing bookshelves and registers full of files. Even the pens were hanging from the ceiling when he looked up. Nevertheless something was feeling wrong. He walked over his desk and looked it at his computer. The screen was grainy like old TV used to be when VHS stopped playing. That surely looked wrong. But that still didn't explain why the hair on the back of his neck was standing.

Suddenly he had the feeling he wasn't alone in the office. He turned around and gasped. In the doorway was standing young girl with long dark hair braided in two braids. She was dressed in trousers and T-shirt.

"Samantha?" Mulder asked surprised.

"Hi Fox." The girl answered smiling. But it was a sad smile.

"What? What are you doing here? Am I dead?" Mulder asked.

"No but it doesn't look good. You've lost a lot of blood. The doctors have problem to stop your bleeding and they are afraid your brain may be damaged."

Mulder nodded slowly. He couldn't remember why he was injured but as long as his sister was here with him, he didn't care. He had been looking for her for so many years and now it was her who found him. He was relieved that his search was finally over.

"You can't give up now, you know." Samantha said after few minutes of observing him.

"I'm not giving up." Mulder replied but the tone of his voice betrayed him. It was obvious he was at ease. Finally he had finished the biggest goal of his life. Now he could afford to relax, to rest and not to think about another possible lead to find his long lost sister.

"She needs you." Samantha stated.

…

Scully did run into Skinner's office absolutely ignoring his secretary, who was trying to stop her. But Scully wouldn't have any of it. She opened quickly the door and stepped inside; stopping only when she noticed Skinner wasn't alone in his office. But Scully was ignoring the other two men sitting in front of Skinner's desk. She looked directly on her boss.

"Do you know where Mulder is?" Scully asked.

"I have a meeting here, agent Scully." Replied Skinner coldly.

"He isn't in his office, at his place and he isn't picking up his phone. We were supposed to fly to Illinois but he didn't show up at the airport." Scully said ignoring Skinner's previous statement.

"Scully..." Skinner started but he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because he has been interrupted by the ringtone of Scully's phone.

Scully looked briefly at the screen, frowning a bit because she didn't recognize the number but then she answered it anyway. Just few seconds into the call and her face turned as white as the walls of Skinner's office. "Hospital. Mulder." She mouthed to Skinner while still listening to the person on the other side of the phone connection. She hung up a moment later looking aghast.

"What happened?" Skinner asked, ignoring as well the other two men in the office.

"Mulder has been shot. Apparently I'm his emergency contact. He lost lots of blood and they aren't sure if he will make it."

"Let's go." It was the only answer Skinner gave her. He nodded to the two men who understood the gesture right away, stood up and wordlessly left. Skinner then looked at Scully and together they followed the two men.

…

As soon as Scully and Skinner arrived to the hospital, Scully lead the way to the station of nurses where she asked about Mulder. It took them a few precious minutes to find out in what operation room Mulder was. Luckily Scully knew way around hospitals well so it wasn't a problem for her to find the waiting room near the operation room. Skinner was at her heels.

Nearby the waiting room was another station for nurses. Scully said her name and asked for information about Mulder. But the only thing she received was stack of papers she was supposed to fill because of her being Mulder's emergency contact. The only information about Mulder's current state that Scully was able to learn was that the doctors were doing everything they could to save his life.

"I'm a medical doctor. Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm sorry ma'am but you definitely can't go to the operation room if this was what you were thinking about." The nurse replied.

Scully sighed. It was exactly what she was thinking about. Of course she knew she couldn't operate on her friend, it was against the rules and even against her own judgement. But she felt so helpless and wanted to do something.

Skinner grabbed her arm and led her into the waiting room. "All you can do now is to fill the papers and keep praying." He told her.

"That's not enough." Scully replied. Suddenly her legs gave up under her and she had to sit down.

"I will find out what happened. You stay here and call me if you learn anything new." Skinner instructed Scully before leaving her alone.

…

Mulder was alone. His sister disappeared and he didn't know where she went or if she would come back. But seeing her made him happy. Of course he had seen Samantha before while searching for her. But this time he was sure this one was the real one. This one was his Samantha he had lost so many years ago. He had been mourning her lost ever since but right now he had the feeling everything would be alright somehow, that he was at the end of his long journey.

Mulder was still in his office but he had decided to take a walk around the building. Ha had to take the stairs because for some reason the lift wasn't working. But he didn't mind. He felt like he could walk for hours without getting tired.

Without thinking about it he ended up on the floor where Skinner had office. His feet carried him right to the room where usually Skinner's secretary sat but right now her chair was empty. All of a sudden he realized that he was probably all alone in the entire building which was strange because that had never ever happened before.

He was standing there, considering what to do next, when the door to Skinner's office opened and Skinner was standing in the doorway inviting Mulder in. Mulder looked around to make sure the invitation was really meant for him then he followed his boss to the office. Mulder sat down to the chair facing the desk without bothering to wait for Skinner inviting him to sit down. He was surprised when his boss didn't sit behind the desk but to the chair next to him but he didn't say anything.

"I've never seen you giving up." Skinner said all of a sudden. "So why are you doing it now?"

"I'm not giving up." Mulder answered. He was surprised that Skinner was second person today telling him he was giving up.

"You know you are dying, right? Scully thinks it's because you have nothing to live for. She thinks your search for Samantha wearied you down and you don't have the strength to continue. Stop living for Samantha, live for Scully. She deserves it."

Mulder took a sharp breath and looked at his boss.

Skinner chuckled, seeing Mulder's reaction. "I know she likes you and you like her. I'm not as stupid as you might think."

"Scully deserves someone better." Mulder answered, surprised by his own honesty.

"She wants you. Don't ask me why. I don't understand a woman, that's why ended up divorced."

Mulder smirked. This was the most bizarre conversation he has ever had with Skinner. He couldn't believe he was talking about this with his boss. But if he had to be honest to himself he would admit he really liked Scully and maybe even something more. But she was his co-worker for heaven sake! He couldn't possibly date her even if he wanted to.

"Don't give it up, it would break her heart." Skinner said. "She needs you as much as you need her."

…

Scully was sitting in the waiting room trying to fill out the medical forms but she couldn't concentrate on it. Mulder was still in the operation room and it has been a long time already. She knew there was some kind of problem. It wouldn't take a genius to figure it out. Nurses were going in and out; few doctors were called in not leaving the room at all. Scully was worried sick of loosing him. She would rather be there with all the doctors than sitting here while her mind was showing her all the possibilities, one worse than the other. She knew Mulder has lost lots of blood and she was afraid it affected his brain. She couldn't imagine Mulder without his sharp mind. His mind was forming Mulder's entire personality. Loosing it he wouldn't be same.

"I know what happened to Mulder." Skinner said after finally returning back to the hospital. He was gone for what felt like ages to Scully. "But firstly tell me, is there any progress?"

"His heart stopped for a while." Scully said trying to suppress tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. "They still don't know if he would make it out of the surgery."

Skinner squeezed her hand reassuringly. A gesture, that was welcomed and surprising at the same time.

"Tell me, what happened." Scully said.

Skinner explained her that he talked to a police officer who was first at the crime scene. He told her all about the pharmacy episode not leaving out any information. He knew he had to be truthful because Scully would notice him lying and would go out to find the truth herself. He wanted to protect her so he was trying to give her information slowly avoiding describing the blood pool that has been left after paramedics had picked up Mulder and put him in the ambulance. He knew she knew how the crime scene probably looked like. But he felt better not telling her that the paramedics though at first that Mulder was dead because they weren't able to feel his pulse at first try.

"What happened to the pharmacist?" Scully asked.

"He was killed. The woman that shot Mulder killed him. I saw video from security cameras and the pharmacist probably saw her face. That's why she killed him."

"Did you see her face?" Scully asked, suddenly having a hope shinning in her eyes.

Skinner shook his face sadly. "She was standing with her back to the camera over the main door and the second camera over the counter was focused on the cash register and the closest surroundings. When she came closer to shoot the pharmacist, she had already a hood on. We weren't able to see her face."

Scully sighed. She felt so helpless.

"But we have some fingerprints. We still don't know if they are hers, though. Or if she even is in the system." Skinner added.

"Well, as you said earlier, the only thing we can do is praying." Scully said, not taking her eyes off of the door to the operation room, wishing for a miracle.

…

Mulder was wandering through the FBI building. He had no idea if this was a dream or some kind of out of body experience but he didn't care. He was all alone and although he could be thinking about anything he wanted the only person he could think about right now was Scully. He was wondering what she was doing. He knew her well so he was sure she would be at the hospital probably demanding answers about his status or maybe chasing whoever shot him. But was she doing it only because they were co-workers or was there something more? He wasn't sure if she had feelings for him. Hell, he didn't know himself what he felt. Would it be possible to be something more? They were relying on each other a lot; they trusted each other with their life. Mulder knew he would be lost without Scully. She kept him sane; she was keeping his mind focused. Could that be enough? He owed her everything. But was she feeling the same way? He didn't know. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"She really worries about you, you know?"

Mulder turned sharply around and was facing his sister once again. "What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Dana. She likes you and she is afraid of loosing you."

Mulder chuckled. It was strange listening to his little sister talking about Scully the way she did.

"I may not be an adult, but I'm not stupid, Fox. She cares about you and it's breaking her heart not knowing if you will survive. Keep fighting, please."

"But I want to be with you." Mulder blurred out without even thinking about the words but realizing it was truth after saying it out loud. "I've missed you so much. I've been searching for you everywhere and now I found you. I want to be with you, Samantha."

The girl smiled sadly. "It's not your time to be with me. Not yet. I will be waiting for you the day your time will come. But it's not today." Then she turned around.

"Don't go!" Mulder said. "Stay with me, please. Just for a little bit."

The girl turned back to him and nodded slowly.

…

Scully was alone again in the waiting room. Skinner left helping the police to found out the woman who shot Mulder. Scully has been torn between staying in the hospital waiting for any news on Mulder's condition and praying for his survival and going out with Skinner looking for the woman who was responsible for Mulder spending hours on operation table. In the end Skinner told her to stay in the hospital not because she could find out more information than him because she was a doctor and knew ways around but because he knew she wouldn't focus on anything but Mulder fighting for his life.

Scully was able to find out that they were able to finally found out the bleeding that were missing and stop it. Mulder's blood pressure was getting up and the possibility of him bleeding out was averted. The one unanswered question was how much Mulder's brain was damaged. But that could be determined only after he would wake up. And that was another unanswered question. Would he ever wake up? Scully knew Mulder was a fighter and wouldn't give up so easily. But he was fighting the biggest battle of all battles he had ever been through and Scully wasn't entirely sure if he had enough strength to win.

When Scully couldn't stand sitting in the waiting room wandering Mulder's survival, she decided to find out the hospital's chapel. It's been a long time from her last praying but this time she really needed a miracle. She kneeled in front of the statue of Jesus Christ, closed her eyes and left her heart to speak for itself. Prayers, she had learned as a little child, were flowing from her mouth without her thinking about the right words. She just put her heart, her love and care for Mulder into every single word. She didn't know if God could hear her or if she would even listen to her. But she felt like this was the right thing to do.

…

Mulder was alone again. Samantha disappeared as suddenly as he always reappeared. He was getting used to it. He liked knowing she was somewhere around. He had missed her so much, always blaming himself for not being able to safe her.

"You couldn't have saved her, Mulder. You ware just a kid."

Mulder turned around, surprised to see her. She was the last person he expected seeing her here.

"Scully? Why are you here?"

She smiled sadly. "It doesn't look, Mulder. Your heart stopped beating and it took them a while to get you back going. I think this is the only way how to say goodbye. I really though you won't give up but now... I'm not so sure any more."

"Scully..." Mulder started but she wasn't listening and kept talking.

"I know we all have to die in some point but I haven't though your time came. Maybe I was wrong. I have so much I would like to tell you. I always though we will have a lot of time together so we could sit down one day and just talk about anything but work. I don't know so many things about you although we have been working together for few years now." Scully smiled sadly.

"We will have the chance to talk, Scully, I promise." Mulder said more passionately than he had though it could be possible.

"For that you would have to be alive." Scully answered. She turned around walking away.

"I won't give up!" Mulder shouted after her. "I promise!"

"I hope you will keep your word, Mulder, or it would break my heart." Scully said out loud but never looking back.

Mulder still could hear tears in her voice. And even though she has already left he couldn't get the image of crying Scully out of his head.

"I won't leave you alone." He whispered.

…

Scully left the chapel after what seemed like ages to her. She wasn't sure if her prayers could help Mulder somehow but she felt better and ready facing the reality once more. She didn't reconcile with the possibility of Mulder dying. She was determined to find a way how to make him better at all cost. She wouldn't let him go so easily. It wasn't his time anyway.

But when she arrived to the waiting room, her determination left her the moment she laid her eyes on a doctor who was apparently looking for her.

"Are you agent Scully?" He asked as soon as he noticed her.

She couldn't even speak up so she just simply nodded.

"Agent Mulder is out of the surgery. They are taking him to the ICU as we speak. He isn't out of the woods just yet. I've been told you are a medical doctor so I would like to be blunt with you. May I?"

"Yes please." That was all Scully could manage. She was so relieve Mulder was out of the surgery she had hard time not to cry with relieve.

"I can't promise you he will wake up. And even if he does his brain can be damaged. We can't determine it right now. All I can say is that the best doctors were trying to save his life and we did everything we could. Now it's up to him and his will to live. After that we would see about any possible brain damage."

"Thank you for your honesty." Scully replied. "Would it be possible to see him any time soon?"

"I'll come for you as soon as it will be possible." With that the doctor left leaving Scully alone with her thoughts.

…

Mulder returned back to his office where he felt secure and safe. He was getting tired of being alone in the whole building. It wasn't like he was missing all the strange looks from his co-workers or the whispering about him being Spooky, as they called him. But time to time he liked to be in the company of someone else than just his thoughts about conspiracy.

"Are you ready to back to your old life?"

Mulder turned around and there she was, standing in the doorway again, smiling and looking happy. His little sister. He desperately wanted to stay with her but he knew his work among the living wasn't done yet. And he has given promise to Scully that we wouldn't give up. He couldn't leave her alone. Not after all they have been through together. Skinner was right; he needed Scully as much as she needed him.

"I will be waiting for you, Fox." Samantha said knowing very well what her brother was thinking about. "But it's not your time yet. Go back to Scully and take care of her."

Mulder smiled, suddenly having tears in his eyes. His little sister was wiser than he. He was so happy seeing her, knowing she was alright where she was right now, whatever place this could be.

"I'm so proud of you, Fox. You're the best brother I could have ever asked for." Samantha stated.

This time Mulder wasn't trying to suppress his tears. He let them flow freely down his cheeks. He's been always feeling like he had betrayed his little sister when he hasn't been able to protect her. But right now while talking to her he realized she isn't blaming him for that. He felt so relieved.

"Can I hug you?" Mulder asked feeling a bit stupid because he hasn't been able to determine where he actually was right now or what rules he should obey.

Samantha smiled happily. "I thought you would never ask."

Mulder came to her, hugged her tightly whispering goodbye to her hair and then, all of a sudden, she was gone.

…

Scully has been sitting at Mulder's bed the entire time they took her out of the surgery, barely eating or sleeping. He didn't gain consciousness yet even though prognoses were optimistic. She was holding his hand all the time, praying, talking to him or simply staying quiet, observing him and searching for any sign that he was waking up. She even told him about the shooting that got him into the hospital and told him that Skinner was able to catch the woman who shot him because she left fingerprints on the counter in the pharmacy and she was in the system.

Scully's head was resting on the edge of the bed, her hand was holding his and she was falling asleep just to wake up few moments later. She was so exhausted she couldn't even fall asleep but she didn't mind because falling asleep meant she could miss him waking up. And she wanted to be the first one he would see after opening his eyes.

All of a sudden, Scully felt her hand being squeezed. For a moment she thought she was imagining it but then she felt the squeeze again. She looked up sharply only to see Mulder's open eyes.

"Hey you." Scully said softly. "Welcome back."

Mulder lifted his free hand slowly, touched Scully's cheek wiping off the tear that spilled out of her eye.

In that moment Scully knew Mulder would be alright.

THE END


End file.
